Making the baby spaghetti cry
"It has not been proven that the earth existed before humans, this is a belief based on data." (This is my number one favorite. "That's not proof, it's just a predictive explanation based on overwhelming evidence!")
"is it because the devil is telling you that you're so undeserving for God's grace that you can't admit guilt in any way?" (Can't you get a perfect picture of the girl who wrote this just from reading it? It's a sad picture, involving bad skin and early pregnancy.)
"If Darwinism can be taught in schools, ID should be too, students have the right to hear ALL the theories. Stop pretending like FSMism is a real theory." ("Students have the right to hear all theories I like.")
"you are a stupid little guy with no girlfriend, so you're depressed. writing about your fake, gay loving man whore god. to get attention. all its gonna get you is a foot so far up your a** your gonna have ingrown toenails growin out your ears."
"It's all faith, sir, and you well know that there is no science or philosophy that can substantiate your claims to the origins of life, because we were NOT there to witness it. But we WERE there to witness Christ and his death." (Er... define "we.")
"if you have a holy bible king james version then i want to ask you to turn to genesis 1:1 in the beginning god created the heaven and earth. now where in the bible dose it say that spaghetti monsters created to earth" (Seriously, Bobby. Did you get this from the Bible, or what? Because if it's in the Bible you need to cite your sources!)
"people like you are scum, I hope you die by the hands of some sick perverted guy who will skullfuck you and then use your skin to make lampshades." (Real Christian of you, buddy.)
"your a fuckin faggot and burn in hell. if i knew you personally id slit your throat and watch you suffer as i laugh and do a fat cocaine like off of your dead body. I would then light you on fire, light my cigerette off of the ashes, smoke weed with the fire and piss on the ashes. then i would take your ashes roll them into a blunt and smoke them." (Seriously, I'm a better Christian than these guys, and I'm an atheist.)
"I'ts sad so many people believe in this ridiculous religion. Oh wait, maybe I shouldn't say believe, because I don't they any of them would be willing to die for 'FSMism' or evolution either for that matter." (Not only is this person not getting the joke, which is expected, but they have the weirdest interpretation of the word "belief" I've ever seen. I mean, I believe that bran muffins are full of fiber... am I supposed to be willing to die for that?)
"Fuck you and the flying spaghetti monster. Postmodernism is a self defeating concept. Read Josh McDowell's book for a good overview of what life is truly about you dumbass humanist...I'm still having problems teaching my dog 2+2=4. I hope to someday prove Darwinian philosophy and be able to have my dog recite Shakespeare to me. Then I will believe Evolution is true...Retarded people...like Bobby Henderson....will burn in hell unless you give your life to Jesus Christ." (This one was so good that I had to quote multiple parts, but that last two ellipses are in the original. Some kind of... stylistic... thing. This comment is particularly good because the author subsequently started threatening a libel suit, then claimed his account had been broken into, presumably after someone explained to him that a reprint of something you actually wrote does not constitute libel.)
Luckily, there are a few redeeming moments, such as Charlie's letter, which actually took me in for about three seconds:
"So let me explain this to you nice and slow; the Bible is the answer, it is what is to be differed to at all times; the Bible is 100% true- it says so in the Bible. Now, as far as science goes, who the hell do you think your are to call Intelligent Design "illegitimate science," technically, evolution is the only scientific theory yes; and technically, midgets are people... So we aren't to concerned with technicalities are we?"
Wow, okay, emergency savasana time.